- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
ATM Procedures – Men vs Women
MALE PROCEDURE:
Drive up to the cash machine.
Put down your car window.
Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
Put window up.
Drive off.FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Drive up to cash machine.
Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
Set parking brake, put the window down.
Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
Attempt to insert card into machine.
Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
Insert card.
Re-insert card the right way.
Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
Enter PIN.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
Enter amount of cash required.
Check makeup in rear view mirror.
Retrieve cash and receipt.
Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
Re-check makeup.
Drive forward 2 feet.
Reverse back to cash machine.
Retrieve card.
Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
Restart stalled engine and pull off.
Redial person on cell phone.
Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
Release Parking Brake.Hi Dougy-T,
that is a nice one, hihihi ;-)))It is working the other way round as well 😉
Can’t remember the full joke and have to translate it, which doesn’t make the joke easier. Let me try 😉How to change the cars motor oil?
Woman:
– Arranging a date at the garage
– Be there at the given time
– Let oil and filter changed
– Paying 100,- Euros
– Took half an hour
– Drive offMan:
– Driving to the car parts supplier
– Buying the best available oil and filter = 50,- Euros
– Driving home, open oil drain screw with hot motor, as recommended
– Getting the fingers burned
– having liters of old oil on the floor
– wiping the stuff off, takes hours
– drinking a beer, 2 Euros
– looking at the scenario, having a beer, 2 Euros
– Spoiling the dress with old oil from old oil filter
– special dress cleaning will be at leat 20,- Euros
– having a beer (2 Euros) and stay in spoiled dress
– swapping the filter
– putting new oil into engine
– forgot oil drain srew
– wiping all the new oil from the floor, takes hours
– having a beer
– bicycling to the parts dealer to get new oil, 40 Euros
– fix oil drain screw
– fill in new oil
– be happy and having a beer, 2 Euros
– closing oil inlet cap
– Test motor running, ok it works
– having a beer
– going on a test drive on public road
– get caught by the police
– 1,5 promille (per thousand)
– 800 Euros of punishment and 3 month without driving licence
– motor is running fine and is tight 😉
Around 900,- Euros and 8h of work!That is how a man does that job ;-)))
Cheers, Michael
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
